Sunday, January 24, 2010

To my sweet Emma

Okay, I don't know what happened, but I had a ton of wonderful pictures in this post and they are gone now. I will edit it later and include them. For now, enjoy what is here. Please forgive my errors. I am tired. Thank you for your love.

Precious Emma,
You have made me so proud with your short little life. I remember how excited I was for your arrival. I just knew you would be early like Carleigh and Luke, but you came on your due date, and you were perfect...so sweet and snuggly. I loved putting the cute little pink beannie on your sweet head. Your big brother and sister thought you were so neat. They wanted to climb in the crib with you and drag you around like a doll. I tried to soak in your baby stage as much as I could. I knew the time would fly by so quickly, and it did. You started scooting and crawling around so fast. Your personality was so adorable. You were so fun-loving and sociable. You wanted to be in the middle of everything. I loved how you adored your big brother and sister. You called out to them in your precious little toddler voice in a way we all understood, even though there were no real words. You always had a hearty appetite and could make me understand very well exactly what you wanted to eat or drink. I loved watching you grow. One of my favorite things was snuggling with you during the night, then watching you toddle into the kitchen all sleepy-eyed to find me and see what was going on. You loved to play in the water, whether at the beach, in the bath tub, or in the swimming pool.

When your big brother and sister went to Wee School during the day, you missed them. You were so excited when you got to go too. I was just a little bit sad when you didn't seem to miss me at all and shed not one tear when I dropped you off in your classroom the first day. You were so excited. You ran to the toys and play house and looked like you were having the best time. It wasn't too long into the year you went to Wee school we started noticing something wasn't quite right. You were starting to fall a lot, and you had not begun to talk with the exception of 2 or 3 words. I took you to the ear doctor and we found you had fluid on your ears. The doctor assured us you would be fine after some tubes and speech therapy. How I wish they would have been. My heart began to hurt a little more each time we understood there was something else wrong. You were still such a precious little girl...so sweet and determined. Even if you fell 100 times, you got back up each time. Nothing was going to keep you from getting to where you wanted to go. Later we noticed your vision didn't seem so good. After a visit to the doctor, we found out you would be blind before too much longer. Still, you weren't deterred. You continued on playing and being the adorable child God created you to be. I was so scared and worried. A mother never wants to see her sweet baby suffer with anything. During the summer of 2008 we found out you had a terrible disease. I was devestated. You are my precious baby, my little Em. My worst nightmare was about to become a reality. Still, you continued to be precious. You started losing more physical ability, but continued to try and walk and play. Your appetite remained big, and eating wasn't an issue for a very long time. Even when you had to start eating pureed foods, you still enjoyed meal times.


I have started a list of things I love about you that I never want to forget. I can always close my eyes and remember your precious little grin or the way you climbed in my lap and snuggled or the way you tumbled around on the floor with your brother and sister.

Here is my list of things so far...
Things I Don’t Want to Forget About Emma

You had the cutest little grin.
You climbed anything and did so at a very young age.
You had spunk.
You liked to tumble around with Carleigh and Luke.
You were precious going to the baby gate at the foot of the stairs and calling for your brother and sister to come down and play with you.
You loved climbing up the stairs. When we would go to get you down, you would give us that mischievous grin and try to go all the faster.
You were adorable trying to talk and would mock anything I would say.
You loved eating sand at the beach. You loved the water too. We always had to watch you like a hawk.
You looked beyond cute in your bathing suit with watermelon dripping down the front of it.
You loved to clap and sing.
You did the motions to “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” and “The Itsy, Bitsy Spider”.
You danced and moved your head side to side with all kinds of rhythm.
You loved music and liked it loud.
You were very curious.
You ate like a horse. You could down several pancakes at breakfast and eat just as much as your older siblings at lunch and supper.
You weren’t afraid of anything.
You were so excited when you got to go to Wee School like your big brother and sister.
You ran into your classroom at Wee School for the first time and squealed with delight. There were no tears for Mommy, much to my dismay.
You loved your friends and teachers at Wee School. Your second year wasn’t as delightful as the first because of your disease progression, but your little friends were precious. They all loved you, Emma.
You loved Abby Cadabby.
You loved your baby dolls.
You were adorable first thing in the morning. I loved it when you would crawl out of bed and come find me in the kitchen. I want to burn the image of you looking up at me in my mind forever.
You had endless energy
You never wanted to be still.
You were stubborn.
You loved to take a bath.
You loved people.
You were my little m, my m&m, my Emmers, my Em.
You loved running up to your daddy when came home from work and giving him a big hug.
You loved to open every single cabinet door and drawer in the house all day long.
You loved your paci.
You seemed to like the Celtic Woman dvds.
You loved your therapists.

Emma, there are so many things I love about you. My heart is heavy. I know you will be happier soon. Playing and laughing, and free. I love you, my precious child. I am especially fond of you.

Love,
Mommy

16 comments:

  1. My prayers are with you, your family, and your sweet baby girl during this difficult time.

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  2. Christy, so detailed as only a momma with such Love for their child could be. Thank you for sharing your heart....

    I could picture Emma doing all that you said... who needs photos when your heart was so felt! I pray these images too are burned into your heart too.

    I am picturing Emma calling to her siblings at the bottom of the stairs... I am seeing her eating sand with watermelon dripping down her tummy... too cute, boy with all your description I can see her little personality, SPUNK!

    I am thinking and praying for you all the time...

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  3. Precious Emma, your Momma's words about you bring a huge smile to my face! Your memories of her are something to treasure. What an adorable, happy, fighter you have for a daughter! And, like Tamara said, who needs pictures when you put your memories into words so well?! I too can see Emma doing all the things that you described!

    What a precious and spunky girl! Thanks for sharing your heart Christy! Love, Hugs and Prayers to you and all of your wonderful family!!!!!

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  4. Only a momma could know and remember such detail. What a beautiful life.

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  5. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Emma and the rest of your family. I am sad that I never got to meet sweet Emma but I know she'll be whole again soon. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to call us.

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  6. Beautiful Christy. My thoughts are with Emma and your entire family.

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  7. Precious Memories, how they linger, how they ever flood my soul. May your precious memories and the strength of our Lord carry you today, tomorrow, and always. Love you!

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  8. I read your posts every day... I am praying for you and your family and sweet Emma!! I know your family but not you personally, but we will continue to pray for all of you!! Like everyone said no need for pictures, your details make it easy to picture!!

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  9. Well Christy you again brought a smile to my face and LOTS of tears!! I am so glad you posted this as I want to always remember Emma the way you described her. What a precious little girl!!

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  10. Memories! Oh yes, sweet! But the moments that made those memories, oh how much sweeter! And how grateful you've been for all those moments, and yet how I wish there was a different ending. That you would go on having those moments, and the memories would not have to be sufficient for this lifetime without a precious little child.

    I understand the diagnosis Emma has. I understand that she is going to die. I don't like that at all. But because I know she is going to be advancing into the eternities, I hope while you cling to the memories, you will also cling to the reality that you and Emma and your entire family have the opportunity to be reunited again. And in the meantime, in the "moment" of the rest of your mortality without Emma, you will miss her. You will mourn. Hopefully you will be comforted in this journey. It's just a hard one. I don't know exactly all about where my little Dominic and my little Bridget are. But I believe they both are pure and innocent, and that Emma is as well. I believe that she is going to be in a paradise where my two little ones are, and that they all will be preparing for that reunion day. I wish I knew really what to say, but just wanted to say something. Keep writing down those memories. Time has a way of eroding the most precious moments from memory, and it does help to keep a record. I pray for peace, for comfort. To you and to Emma.

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  11. Beautiful word pictures. Through them we can see Emma's spunky spirit and the joy she brought each person in her life. Hold tightly to each precious memory.
    She will never be forgotten and will always be loved.
    Praying for sweet Emma and your family. Praying God's presence and love and grace and peace and hope over your your hearts and minds.
    Love and hugs and prayers,
    Debi

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  12. You never cease to amaze me Christy! What beautiful images you have created of such a beautiful little girl. Kevin and I are praying for you constantly. If there is anything that we or MOPS can do, please, please, please, do not hesitate to call.

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  13. What beautiful memories of a beautiful little girl. Emma has touched so many lives; my Sunday School class was commenting that they are so attached to Emma even though they have never met her because they have been praying for her and following her story for so long.

    We love all of you so much! We are praying constantly for you.

    Love,
    Kevin, Kristy, Logan, Abbey, and Matthew

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  14. That is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read, Christy. There is no love more precious than that between a mother and her child. I am praying for God to carry you through this, as only He can. Your family will always remain in my prayers.

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  15. This is Ashlyn Hendricks. Im in Mrs. King's class and i heard about Em. Im so sorry when she told us that she might not be lasting to much longer i almost started crying but i kept it in. But again i hope she can come back im sooooo sorry.
    -You might not know me but just ask Mrs. King about me, well anyways love Ashlyn.

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