Wednesday, April 29, 2009

SLEEP 4 SALE

High folks, Kelvin here...
I was reminded this morning that humans need four things for survival: shelter, water, food and sleep. The first one that will kill you if you go without it is sleep. I think it is something like food- 21 days, water- 11 days, sleep- 9 days and shelter can vary. Emma continues to have better things to do at night than sleep (mainly cry), but we have found the silver lining!
Being the entrepreneur's we are, I have come to realize we are sitting on a gold mine in un-used sleep. Hey, I'm talking "NIB", "Still in the plastic", "Like new, never used" stuff here. Between the two of us I bet we can sell at least 80 hours a week in un-used sleep! This is going to be awesome!
Can you say C-H-A C-H-I-N-G?!?!
So, what do you think? E-Bay? Craigslist? How about pricing? I'm thinking naps go for $10/hour and regular night time sleep brings $15/hour. We can do a promotional ad for REM sleep at $50 per 4-hour package. That is a bargain. How about gift baskets around the holidays? We may do an infommercial.

Now, on to our weekly funny story about Luke...WARNING...this is gross, butt funny. So, yesterday Luke is in the bathroom doing...uh...#2. I go in there and realize he has again overachieved in the area of personal hygiene and has a...um..."souvenir" on his hand. Yes, it was gross. So, I tell him very clearly and quite loudly DON'T MOVE, KEEP THAT HAND IN FRONT OF YOU. I run to get some wipes and when I come back 15 seconds later...the souvenir is gone! That is worse than losing your pet rattlesnake.

Kelvin: Luke, where did that stuff go??? (with bulging eyes and a look of terror)
Luke: Uh, my head itched. (with no expression or any sense of worry)
Kelvin: $%&^@# x a gazillion.

I can hardly wait until he brings his first girlfriend to the house...see ya...kd

6 comments:

  1. We would TOTALLY be in line to buy your unused sleep. We need it! Although, we may have trouble using it...
    Too bad Emma and Celie can't chat on the phone in the we hours to entertain each other while the rest of us slept!
    Funny post :)

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  2. ohhhh tooooo funny!!!!!! Wait till they get older... it does not get any better! How ya doing? Thinking of you often!!!!

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  3. That is totally HILARIOUS! I am serious...you could sell sleep on e-bay for real! Try it! People will buy anything. That is a great post and I hope you took pics so you can post them at his wedding! LOL

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  4. SOLD!! We'll take it ALL ... in this house it's not the babies that don't sleep, it's my cute husband. I'm afraid we may be dangerously near to the 9 day mark.
    The poop story - I am laughing so hard I'm having a hard time typing through the tears. Thank you - I'm glad to hear the craziness isn't confined to just my little casa here in the high desert!

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  5. I feel for ya dad, hang in there, your body will come around (in a few years, lol).

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  6. That is the funniest story I've ever heard! LOL!!

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