The kids got an egg hunt in this morning before the bottom dropped out. Thank you Easter Bunny! Grandma and Aunt Terry are great egg helpers! The big kids had fun finding the eggs and gifts in the flower beds. They looked so cute in their Easter clothes this morning.
I have discovered that holidays don't have the same spark as they once did since Emma has been sick. Now that we have Cora, there is even more bittersweetness...I'm watching one baby girl grow and thrive while the other one is being consumed with a disease that has taken everything precious from her. I don't understand. But, I do have the love of Jesus to pull me from the depths of my grief and get me through another minute...hour...day. I am scared too, though. As I read about this ugly disease called Batten, I wonder how much more she will lose? How much worse will things get for her? How much more pain and discomfort, frustration and irritation will she have to endure? I'm sure my wonderings are selfish too. This is not what I signed up for as a parent. I want to see all of our children thrive and grow into adults with dreams and apsirations. I realize our children are really not ours at all. They are on loan to us. God has entrusted them to our care, and we are to raise them to the best of our human ability. But, I would have really liked to have had more of a chance with Emma. For now, all I can do is accept what's been given to us, and love her through each step. I hope she feels our love. I'm glad we have her to teach us how to love differently than we've ever had to before.
Happy Easter from the Dunnams...all whopping 6 of us!
