Love and Hate

I hate the census! "Record anyone living in your house on April 1, 2010." Is this a cruel April Fool's joke? I hate Batten Disease. I hate the question, "how are you?" I hate that I'm so impatient, judgemental, angry and tired. I hate that I am identified by my grief right now.

I love spring...and summer and fall and winter. I love the beach. I love the sweet sound of my newest offspring saying, "mommy," "mo," (more) "eat," "dada," "bubba," and "uh-oh." I love the sly little grin my rough and tumble boy gives me, and the sweet things my big girl tells me. I love my husband and the way he loves me. I love knowing that one day I will see my Savior face to face and watch my sweet Emma run and jump and play. But for now, I love knowing He is carrying me. Just like the Footprints in the Sand poem. There is just one set of prints in the sand in this season of my journey, because He is carrying me each step of the way. I love that. Otherwise, I think there would be no footprints, because I would just be curled up in a ball on the beach, the sand covering me and the water splashing over me.

...weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5



Found this on a blog, and I forgot where I was. She had taken pictures of eggs with the names of all the little ones she knew who had gone to be with Jesus. I saw Emma's name and didn't think I had ever met the lady who had done such a sweet thing, but it was good to see her name nonetheless. I love it!