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Wednesday, March 3, 2010

With each day it gets...

(author warning- kelvin)

Well, to be honest, it is getting harder. No kidding. Call me dumb (really, feel free), but I bought into the whole idea that we had already grieved Emma because we lost her each day we held her. When she was first diagnosed I spent 10 days in a very dark world; too dark to put words to. Over the next two years I mourned her daily as she lost milestones and steadily drifted away from the girl she was. I really thought her crossing the finish line was a finish line, of sorts, for us as well. I'm dumb.

During the first two weeks after Emma passed I didn't feel worse, so I guess I thought everything was okay, when in fact we were just numb. The numbness is wearing off now, and damn it hurts.

It should go to reason that the great book of Emma's Dash is a complex one with many chapters, plots and sub-plots. To guess which chapter we are currently in would be foolish, for we may still be in the opening scene! On Monday when Emma's Hugs gave parking passes out at MD Anderson Cancer Center we were hugged by people from Alabama, North Carolina, Russia and Saudi Arabia, plus many others. Several of them said they "felt hugged" when we handed them their parking pass. Emma is weaving a wonderful story...I am excited to see the next chapter!
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