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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I wanna be 3

Following is an email we received from a very good friend of ours. Her little girl is one of what I used to refer to as "the three amigos" since we and two of our friends had baby girls so close together. Anyway, our friends J.R. and Jana have a little girl named Addison, and she is adorable, and very smart, especially to have just turned 3 in November. She always makes me smile with her precious songs and inquisitive questions. One time we were at a restaurant and hear Addison on the other side belting out "Tomorrow" from the movie Annie...hilarious!

So, we’ve all been dealing with the loss of Emma in our own way and for me personally, it’s been a roller coaster. Some days I am angry, other days I just ask questions, sometimes I can imagine the awesomeness of heaven and be jealous and other days I just hurt…but what I really wish I were…is 3!

J.R. and I have had the very hard task of explaining everything to Addison – and for a long, long time now! Addison began asking us questions long ago and we’d chosen to only share that “Emma is sick sometimes and doesn’t feel so good.” Originally, we’d pray with Addison at bedtime and prompt prayers for Emma, but as time went on, Addison prayed for Emma on her own, and at any time of day…I can literally attest to HUNDREDS of prayers that I’ve heard Addison pray on her own, “Dear God, please touch Emma and make her stop hurting. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.”

The Monday that Emma left this world, J.R. and I could hardly even talk to each other…we just didn’t know how to “be.” We easily knew that we were too emotional to attempt to explain everything to Addison…Emma was her friend! So, we figured we’d “put it off” until WE were ready. That Wednesday evening, we’re driving down the road to go eat dinner and we hear Addison in the back seat praying out loud for Emma…of course, we just look at each other and melt. We knew we needed to talk to her whether we were ready or not.

We took the next couple of days to talk specifically to Addison about as many details of heaven as possible. At the end of those couple of days, we’d drawn our own picture with markers that included pearly gates, angels, music notes, happy faces, rivers and sparkly streets…but the best part was the mansion! Because we told Addison that everything in heaven is happy and perfect and a party all the time and God gives you your very own mansion, at Addison’s request, these were the things we drew for Addison’s mansion…

“I need a fence yard, and draw Max too…he needs a big bone and a food bowl. I need water for my 4 fish to live in and write their names. And, fireworks everywhere! It’s a party so I need balloons and a cake too…put it in my back yard next to my swing set and my slide. Do you and daddy live in my mansion? Cause I need room for my play tent I want in my room! Where is Disney? It needs to be close to my mansion too…”

Obviously, we’d figured out that Addison had the best picture painted in her mind of how wonderful heaven is…we knew that it was time to talk to her. Preparing ourselves for the worse reaction possible, we sat down with Addison and told her that it was, “Emma’s turn to go see Jesus.” She immediately dropped her head…J.R. and I are nervous about her words surely to follow. When she looks up at us, she said, “So, Emma is in heaven now?” After we told her, “Yes,” she got a HUGE grin on her face and said, “WELL, LET’S ALL CHEER FOR EMMA!!!!!!!!!” With her little hands over her head clapping while screaming, “WOO HOO,” she looks at J.R. and I (like we are crazy) and demands us to join her! I bet we “Woo Hoo-ed” (and I mean LOUD celebration) more than a dozen times in a row!!!

Since then, Addison has been making plans for when she gets to heaven too and gets to see Emma again – on the agenda so far are: tea parties, tag, dress up, hide and seek, sleepovers and playing at the park. Every now and then we’ll get asked, “Do you think Emma took Max for a walk today?” And, the other night she went into her room to pick out the pjs that she wants to wear when she gets there.

Oh to be 3! When she found out, she celebrated! She never asked, “why” and her perception of time is as if she’s going to get to see Emma tomorrow!

Maybe someday I’ll be as strong as a 3 year old!!!

Me too!
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