Monday, July 30, 2012

Putting it all out there

Just so you know, this post is kind of all over the place. Consider yourself forewarned. :)

I laughed out loud not too long ago when a friend told me she thought my kids were perfect. To set the record straight, they are not, but I am not either. Not even close.

We all struggle. It's funny to me to think anyone thinks I have it all together, or for that matter, that my kids do. I yell at my kids too much, don't do laundry as often as I should and certainly don't fold it and put it away in a timely manner. Sometimes the dishes in my sink are there a couple of days, and I spend too much time doing nothing of importance and worry about what I need to be doing. I don't cook often enough, my flower beds are atrocious, the shrubs are overgrown something fierce, and I don't exercise like I should. I eat too much and feed our children pizza way too often. I have boxes that haven't been unpacked since we moved here 6 1/2 years ago. I love my kids, but I would like to pinch their little heads off when they whine and complain, pick on each other, roll their eyes, speak with a sassy tone, or pout.

I don't want people to think we're perfect. It's easy to make judgements about people and families looking on from the outside. I think we all get caught up in the trap of  making judgements about people, whether in blogland or real life. But no one is perfect. We are all trying to get through each day. Some of us have it more together than others, but no one has it all together all the time...no one.

A few months ago I was in my Zumba class, and we started dancing to a song by Gloria Estefan, "I Just Wanna Be Happy." Happy, joyous and free, she sings. I almost broke down half way through the song, because I realized that was me...I just wanna be happy. I just want my kids to be nice to each other. I just want to be more patient and slower to get irritated. I just want my third child here with us, healthy. I bit my lip and got through the rest of the song and class without sobbing, but it was a definite revelation moment for me.

We try to have a good time at our house. We like to laugh and kid with each other, but we certainly have our flaws. I am selfish and like to have things my way. I teach the children the importance of sharing, yet find it hard to share myself. I am impatient and get frustrated easily.

Not too long ago Kelvin and I watched the documentary, "Forks over Knives," and while I thought it was good, I struggled with the last bit of the movie which said, "Eat to Live," not "Live to Eat." I'm Southern. Down here, our lives revolve around food. I enjoy being in the kitchen, trying new recipes and cooking with my family. I really want to be thin, but I really like to eat too. I like food...a LOT! I don't know about the saying, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." As much as I would like to agree; I beg to differ. The person who wrote that little ditty just hasn't tried my shrimp and grits recipe from the chef in North Carolina or the Asparagus Carbonara I made last night or Grandma's fried shrimp or Classic Cafe's Tollhouse Pie, for goodness' sake! To say nothing of Susan's coconut pie, Miss Patsy's, well anything Miss Patsy makes, Mama's pot roast, Marvin's ribs, the chicken friend oysters at Branchwater Tavern, the butterfly steak at America's, or the crab cakes at Capital Grill! Not to mention the fried green tomatoes at the mom and pop place between here and North Carolina, the etouffee at Poches in Breaux Bridge, Louisiana, or the veggie omelet in Ouray, Colorado. I need to move on, because I'm starting to get hungry now, and it's bedtime.

I guess the bottom line is as much as I was flattered my friend thought my kids were perfect and we were the happy little family, we struggle, just like everyone. Just know, when you see us walking up to the doors of the church building, we probably griped at the kids while we were getting ready. And I'll bet if you're honest, you did too. :)

Have a great weekend! Eat something yummy!

4 comments:

  1. I could copy almost every word from you post and create my own. I can relate. I also yell at my kids and sometimes would rather read then hear my husband talk about his day- so selfish I know. I want my kids to wear clothes that match and not the crazy outfit they picked out. I also get impatient and yell yet I expect them to be patient and use inside voices. I also love to eat, apparently more than being thin. Oh well we ae all just doing the best we can and trying to find balance.

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  2. Christy, this sounded just like me! Do you remember the first year in MOPS when I was awarded "Most Responsible"? I felt like such a fraud and kept thinking, "if they could only see me at home..." Even though we feel/act this way, God can still use us! He certainly used you today in this post! Thank you so much for your openness and transparency. You have made me feel like I am not alone in my journey through motherhood! Love you bunches my birthday buddy!

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  3. Wow. This post speaks volumes to me, and I desperately needed to read something like this after the past few days that I have had! Lately, I have been feeling so overwhelmed, stretched too thin, and like I am slacking at it all. (Oh, and I have been eating too much and gaining weight like crazy all the while too!) Thank you so much for your honesty and humility. It really touched me and is more appreciated than you will ever know!!

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  4. I totally agree on the food. Love my food. I wish being skinny was a whole lot easier though.

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