Tuesday, February 1, 2011

My Precious Little Girl

Emma,
I can't believe it has already been a year since you stepped into heaven. (It makes me happy thinking you are strong and can walk again.) I remember the day like it was yesterday. Your daddy and I had been close by your side for so many days. I cherish the time I got to spend with you, singing, praying and talking to you...just us. Daddy was spending some time alone with you when he called me in to join the two of you. We laid beside you, one on each side, as we touched your fragile body ever so gently, giving you permission to let go. We let you know we would be okay. Your daddy is a rock, and he holds me up a lot of the time. You fought for so long. Your little body had become so weak, and I simply cannot fathom how you continued to hang on when your heart was so weak and your lungs so full. You are so strong. You are my daughter. I love you so much. After a few more minutes, you stopped struggling. Before that you gave out almost a laugh, a sound I had not heard from your sweet mouth before, almost a release...and then you were gone. I held you then, knowing I could not hurt you. My arms still yearn to hold you again, to feel your breath on my face, to see your chest rise and fall in sweet slumber, to watch you run and chase Carleigh and Luke. And now Cora is learning about you, Emma. She knows who you are when she sees your photos. You two would have been the best of friends, I just know it. Not one of the 365 days of the past year has gone by without me thinking about you and wishing you were here with us, well, healthy. Occasionally, I find myself envying those who get to spend eternity with you while we are still here. I wonder what occupies your time. How wonderful must it be to sit at the feet of Jesus, or in his lap, or worship the Creator God with the angels...the sound must be indescribable, warm and beautiful. You are a pearl, my sweet baby girl, "the only precious stone made by pain, suffering--and finally--death." (The Shack) I will never be the same as long as I am here. My life was changed by knowing and loving you and having to let you go. There is an emptyness, a hole, a piece of my very being that is missing. I love you precious child. I look forward to the day when we are together again.
Love,
Mommy


Emma,
You are so wonderful. I miss you. My heart aches all the time.
Words have seemed to escape me for the last year. I love you. 
Daddy

14 comments:

  1. Sweet friend I will be in constant prayer for you and your family today. I pray that our big abba father will lift you up in his strong loving arms and that you will feel His presence and comfort throughout this day. Love you, SAL

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  2. You have been heavy on my mind this week as the first year 'anniversary' (I hate that word) approached. So so many have been touched by Emma and changed by not only her, but by you Christy and your journey and your pain and your faith. Thank you for sharing that all.

    *hugs*

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  3. Praying without ceasing for you today.

    Love, Danielle

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  4. I love you all and am especially praying for you today!

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  5. You're all continually in my thoughts and prayers-- but even more today. Again, thank you for the time I got to be with Emma. How I wish it had been under different circumstances. But, I find comfort in knowing she's completely healed...laughing, singing, and chasing butterflies.
    Ms Becky

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  6. I have thought of Emma so, so many days over this last year. Knowing about Emma and her amazing family has changed my life and every moment I spend with my children. Thank you for this beautiful blog and for sharing her story. I too, envision her on the lap of Jesus. God bless each of you and we will be praying for comfort and peace.

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  7. Thinking of you, and your sweet Emma.....and PRAYING!!! Big Hugs!!

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  8. Christy, I wish I could say something, anything that would make a difference but I know that there are no words. You are a beautiful soul, I can't wait to see your whole family in heaven. What a wonderful day that will be. From my family to yours, we love you.

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  9. I knew you would post on Tuesday. My heart aches for your lost, I can not imagine. Lifting up your family to Him that you will find strength. Love, Sharon P.

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  10. So hard. Missing Emma with and praying for your comfort and peace and hope.
    Spunkey Emma will always be in our hearts, never forgotten and always loved.
    Love and hugs and prayers,
    Debi

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  11. Your strength, your love, your character, your fortitude, your honesty, and your love for your kids and each other blow me away on a regular basis. Thank you for having children. The world needs more of you two.
    I all six of you.

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  12. Your sweet Emma will never be forgotten. (((hugs)) to you, dear Mama!

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  13. Little Emma, I think of you every day too, your photocopied photo stares back at me reminding me how beautiful you will always be. A year already ... wow ... you marked my life little girl!

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