Thursday, January 27, 2011

Thanking when I'm breaking

"And I don’t do this well – this thanking when I’m breaking but I do it anyway. And we question and wonder but keep giving Him thanks. And slowly the seed – the miracle — growing in us changes us… not Him or what’s happening around us but what’s happening in us.

Either way – any way – we keep offering it up to Him."~~from Ann Voskamp's sister whose new baby girl wasn't breathing well.

...this thanking when I'm breaking...

Emma at about 4 months


I so identify. This is the hard part. Five days from today marks the day Emma breathed her last labored breath one year ago. We have struggled through some of the past 360 days and sailed through others. This ebb and flow of grief, living while I'm dying, "thanking when I'm breaking." I am learning to heal. It's hard some days and easier others.

Emma's first day of Wee School...she was so excited

God knew what He was doing when He surprised us with Cora. She is such a bright spot, learning so much, soaking up everything around her. I know she would have adored Emma just like she does Carleigh and Luke. She has been good for all of us...teaching us to be good examples, to love, to laugh. Laugh


Emma coming to see Mommy

...this thanking when I'm breaking...

3 comments:

  1. ...and all the while I have admired you and your family through this journey. The ups and downs will not end but HE will be right there with you. Love ya,
    Asha

    ReplyDelete
  2. I've checked back in on you weekly and have mourned with you this past year. I continue to keep you and your family in my prayers, especially when I hear certain songs on KSBJ. It's great to see you and your family having good days and I so admire your strength, courage and transparency you've maintained thru this journey.
    Praying this sad anniversary finds you comforted with the love of all of your friends, family and blog readers :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Missing spunky Emma with you. I loved the video clip. What a treasure.
    Love and hugs and prayers,
    Debi

    ReplyDelete

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