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Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Digging Out

I have begun efforts to dig my way out of the funk that's been consuming my life, my thoughts, my dreams. I guess some would call it depression, and maybe it is. But it's also grief. The two are probably intertwined. I mean really, who wouldn't be depressed after the loss of her child? It has been 8 months since we lost Emma, and I feel as if my head were going to spin right off my body sometimes, much like Beetle Juice. I can't concentrate, I don't remember things, I am quick-tempered and yell at my kids too much, anything sad is not good for me, and life is just not as sweet as it once was. It broke my heart one day when Luke was saying his prayers and asked that Mommy would sleep well and wouldn't be so gripey the next day. WOW! Ouch! The doctor said I need to grieve. I know he is right, but sometimes it's just more than I can handle. It's hard to admit that something is more than I can handle. I kind of like to have control of everything, don't you?

I took a couple of weeks off from Emma's Hugs work in the medical center. Sometimes meeting so many families who are struggling to fight for life for a sick child or grown men and women who are enduring stem cell transplants is more than I can bear. The time off was good. I rested and read a little and tried to take care of myself. This is a new week. Hopefully I'll be able to visit the medical center again at least once.

Forgot to give you the weekly menu...

Monday Fin(sp?)for eat at Mom and Dad's and Kelvin goes to school, so I don't usually cook

Tuesday Pecan Crusted Trout (Tilapia) with Orange Rosemary Sauce
This recipe was sooo yummy and I can't believe how easy it is to make. Serve it with Roasted Cauliflower Poppers and rice pilaf.

1-1 1/2 lbs. whole boned trout (have the fish market do this) or trout, tilapia or flounder fillets
1/2 cup pecans
1 tsp. flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1 egg, white only, lightly beaten
2 Tbsp. butter
3/4 cup orange juice
1 tsp. fresh or dried rosemary, chopped

(If you are making the cauliflower and rice pilaf, start them first.) Rinse the trout and pat it dry with paper towels. In a food processor, finely grind the pecans with the flour and salt. (If you do not have a food processor or don't want to dust it off, use a mallet to pulverize the nuts in a plastic bag, then shake it thoroughly with the flour and salt.) Using a pastry brush, brush the egg white on the flesh side of the trout (or both sides of fillets). Coat the fish by sprinkling the nut mixture onto the flesh and pressing firmly.

In a large nonstick skillet or a heavy skillet coated with nonstick cooking spray, melt 1 Tbsp. butter over medium to medium-high heat. Add the trout, flesh side down. Cook it until the pecans are lightly browned, 5 - 6 minutes.

Meanwhile, in a small saucepan, bring the orange juice and rosemary to a boil over medium-high heat. Reduce the heat and simmer it for a few minutes until the sauce is slightly reduced. Add 1 Tbsp. butter, stirring until it is melted. Reduce the heat to low to keep it warm.

Transfer the trout to plates (if using whole trout, cut them in half down the middle, if desired), pecan side up, and drizzle them with the orange-rosemary sauce.

Wednesday Spinach and (Saut├ęd) Onion Quesadillas

Thursday Slow Cooker Veggie Chili

Friday Speedy Chicken and Cheese Enchiladas

Saturday Israeli Couscous, Artichoke and Feta Bake

Sunday Hopefully deer steak on the grill with veggies
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